Lead Us Not Into Flirtation
by Seraphina Pyra
Summary: Harry and Tonks have always had devils and angels on their shoulders, but when the four tiny spirits meet up, it’s a battle of wits and a test of wills. Love vs Lust and Jealousy vs Trust. Don’t miss the greatest match of the Wizarding world.
1. Rise And Shine Devil Of Mine

**Lead Us Not Into Flirtation**

by Philosopher, Seraphina Pyra and CaptainCrash

**Chapter 1: Rise And Shine Devil Of Mine**

"Wake up! Wake up. Rise and shine!" Jim heard an annoying voice destroying his wonderful dream about Tonks on a beach. No it wasn't just annoying. It was a voice that had become the bane of his existence over the years. It was nails on a chalkboard. It was a fork scraping between someone's teeth. It was… "Up. Up. Up, sleepy head the sun wants to say hello." …The voice of Evan the Angel.

Jim grumbled some obscenities before rolling over and tucking himself tighter under his fiery scarlet cloak. Evan leaned over, clapped his hands and flattened his lips as though trying to coax a puppy out from behind the couch. "Awwww. Come on." He said in a pouty voice that matched his body language. "Don't be such a sour puss grumpy gus."

Although Evan could get away with more teasing than Jim would ever admit, he dared not shake the shoulder of his evil counter part… at least not so early in the morning. After all Jim did have a bit of a temper. The last time he pushed the sinister agent too far, Dumbledore's office got trashed.

"Evan!" Jim growled. "Harry was having a very very good dream…" He tried to blow away a lock of bed hair that fell into his eyes. "…for the first time in a very very long while! Would it kill you- I mean would it absolutely go against your whole stinking moral code and everything you believe in, all that mighty piety you hold sacred,…" He blew the hair again. "…to give him one little measly break from the nightmares?!"

With all the sarcasm of a posh receptionist, and his pinky out, Evan pointed one finger down at Jim. "And… _who's_ in charge of nightmares? Besides, you're just using him as an excuse to sleep in."

Jim sneered. The hair fell down again. This time he whipped it back fiercely with his hand. "Ow!" He looked at his palm and saw a nasty gash down the middle. "STUPID HORNS!!"

Evan tipped his halo like a gentleman tips his bowler hat. "I've always preferred halos myself. Come on we have to get an early start if we want to give Harry time for his studies."

"Ah!" Jim waved dismissively. "Hermione will help him later. I think I'm wearing her down though. With a few more sad puppy faces she just might be suckered into doing all the work herself."

"Never!" Evan looked offended. "That nice young girl has standards far too high for that." Jim chuckled as though he were thinking of a truly sleazy come back. "You just stay away from her."

"It's not like she doesn't have brains enough for both of them and she won't even share. How's that for standards? That's just plain selfish."

Evan chose to roll his eyes rather than argue with the other spirits twisted sense of logic. "Just…sigh Just get up, Jim."

The little devil only flopped down again and mumbled into Harry's shoulder. "I thought I told you not to call me Jim. My name is Harry."

A table appeared before Evan with a heavenly breakfast all laid out. "Well we can't rightly call you 'Harry' now can we?" He sat down to the meal and bowed his head for the blessing.

"That's my name!" Jim's voice was still muffled but Evan could hear the irritation bubbling up.

"That's _his_ name. It would be far too confusing." He began to butter a piece of toast.

"I don't care." Now Jim sounded more like a brooding child than a servant of the underworld. "I had it first."

Evan flopped his hands down on the table. "Oh come off it. You are such a liar."

"It's true."

"How can you have possibly had that name before Harry? You didn't even exist until he stole that tootsie roll from Dudley."

"That is not true. That is _so_ not true." Jim couldn't get back to sleep now if he tried. So he just got up and started crossing over with the intention to steal a free meal. A sly, smug, and lopsided grin tugged on his lips. "I got to him with Voldemort, remember?"

Evan looked up from his plate and just glared at his life long foe. At that moment Harry's subconscious had become too agitated with all the bickering to sleep. He rolled over and crushed Jim. Evan prayed for the grace not to laugh.


	2. The Angels Were All Singing Out Of Tune

**Lead Us Not Into Flirtation**

_By Philosopher, Seraphina Pyra and CaptainCrash_

**A note from Seraphina Pyra:** Yes, there's more! Lol

Chapter 1 was written by _Philosopher_, and this chapter is mine. Please read and review as all three of us love to receive reviews. Positive reviews we all like, I always appreciate constructive criticism, but be warned I will pass any flames onto Philosopher and she has many a way to deal with flames. evil laugh

I would like to thank Lord Byron for the chapter title.

**Chapter 2: The Angels Were All Singing Out Of Tune**

As Harry proceeded to go through his daily morning routine and walk down to the Great hall for breakfast with Ron, Evan began to sing. Out of tune.

"Dum… da… dum… dum… lala… de."

Jim had had enough very quickly. Watching as Evan elegantly danced out of the way of incoming owl post, Jim exploded "Damn it, Evan, will you shut up."

Evan's face screwed up in disappointment causing his halo to shift downwards a little. Pushing it back up into place he drew in a breath "Jim, Jim, Jim." he muttered then raised his voice to a normal level "It's a beautiful day, Harry is going to learn new things, and I anticipate him doing many good deeds today."

"Your point?" Jim asked shortly

"Well, don't you think that's a perfect reason to be happy?"

Jim leaned back into the crook of Harry's neck trying to get comfortable, only to be hit by a piece of toast one of the slytherins had aimed at Harry. Picking it off his scarlet cloak in disgust Jim threw it at Evan while asking "Er...what the bloody hell does that have to do with you singing?"

Evan deftly swatted away the approaching missile and adopted a lecturing tone "It has everything to do with it and stop swearing."

Jim was about to give a scathing reply when he caught sight of someone. Someone who made his frown turn upside down. A plan began to formulate in Jim's mind as that someone crossed the length of the Great Hall towards the Professors table.

"No"

Jim turned at the sound of Evan's firm instruction. The little angel's fluffy white wings were quivering.

"No what?" Jim asked innocently

Evan stood up straight and pointed his finger at Jim. "You know perfectly well what I'm referring to. It just isn't the right time."

"I beg to differ, Evan, this is the perfect time." His voice emphasised the beginning of the word perfect, drawing it out purring like a cat.

"There's a little bit of an age gap you know"

"That's hardly important; besides Harry should go over and say hello. It'd only be polite."

Slightly surprised at the attitude Jim was taking, Evan agreed with the sentiment and nodded his head slowly "True. It's important to be polite."

Jim watched Tonks as she bumped into an annoyed looking Snape, a smile growing on his face.

"What are you planning, Jim?" Evan asked with suspicion.

"Nothing… I resent that accusation."

"So are we going to get Harry to go say hello?"

"Don't need to."

"Huh?"

"Seems Tonks has beaten us to it."

The little angel and his mischievous companion watched as Tonks awkwardly made her way towards Harry.

A sudden exclamation from Evan momentarily pulled Jim's gaze away from Tonks.

"I love you, Jim." Evan said with a contented smile on his face.

Silence filled the air except for the odd flutter of wings.

Jim suddenly had an urge to rip off his horns and stick them in his ears. He hated it when Evan got all mushy at odd moments.

"Um, Jim?"

"Yes?"

"Isn't there anything you'd like to say to me?"

"Sure"

Evan's smile brightened in anticipation.

"I hate you, Evan."

The hurt reaction Evan felt quickly turned into unexpected amusement, as an enthusiastic Tonks greeted Harry by whacking his left shoulder "Wotcher Harry!" Evan tried to smother his satisfied laughter as Jim was pulverised by Tonk's hand.


	3. Original Sin

**Lead Us Not Into Flirtation**

_By Philosopher, Seraphina Pyra and CaptainCrash_

**A note from Seraphina Pyra:** Eek, I could have sworn I uploaded this chapter ages ago. But nope. Ah, settling into university has totally messed up my schedule. I bet I've forgotten other things too.

Anyway, on with the story.

This chapter is brought to you by CaptainCrash.

**Chapter 3: Original Sin**

Evan quickly stopped laughing when a pink haired angel came fluttering down from her perch on Tonks' shoulder only to smack him across the face.

"It's not very nice to laugh at other people's misfortune. I am shocked at you and you being the famous Harry Potter's conscience as well." For an angel she was particularly huffy.

Evan was suitably irritated. His and Jim's relationship was fine. It didn't need some goody-too shoes to pass comment. Nor was his temper improving over the passing minutes.

Jim was halfway between heaven and hell. On the one hand it was Tonks' who had him pinned, on the other it wasn't his bed that he was pinned to but the delightful Harry's neck. 'Suffocation by Tonks'. It was a good way to go!  
  
"Aren't you going to help him?" The un-named angel wined close to Evan's ear.  
  
"Now how's the tyke to learn if he gets a helping hand every time he gets himself into a squeeze." Evan contemplated getting out his foam finger and chanting "another one bites the dust."

However he didn't fancy the thought of little-miss-prim-and-proper going up to complain to Saint Peter. "Besides, he left me under Dudley's hand when Harry was getting beaten to a pulp!" Evan muttered bitterly.  
  
"That is totally beside the point and you know it-"  
  
"Look, there he is. Pull himself right out. Once he gets his breath back, he'll return to his normal peaky self." Evan wondered how long he would have to let her stay. He was keen to get started on his day. He was secretly worried about the safety of his friend. However, he seemed to be having a good enough time perched on Tonks' hand.

"You've been here from birth then?" She questioned him as Tonks' hand was removed from Harry's shoulder.

Evan peered over his shoulder to find Tonks sitting beside Harry, Jim still on her hand. Jim, curious as ever had begun the steep climb to Tonks' shoulder.

"It's ok, he'll be back. Tonks will put her hand on Harry's shoulder before she leaves." The angelical girl had noticed Evan's distraction. "Was he created at birth?" She went on to ask, making herself comfortable.

"No." Evan answered shortly, missing the company of Jim already.

He saw the pain in the girl's face and decided to elaborate. "I think Harry was about three or four when Jim popped into existence. I'm Evan by the way!" He held out his pale hand. Harry really did need to get out more. The boy's fascination with being a hero had lead to his shoulder consciences to be as pale as milk bottles.

"Theodora." She replied. "And that over there is Jezebel. We've both been with Tonks since birth. Original sin and all that." Theodora perked up a little now they were having a halfway decent conversation.

She was beautiful, Evan reasoned with himself. He had never seen Jim's fascination with Tonks before; however, his heart was skipping a beat whenever the mini-Tonks found him starring.

"So-" He found himself not knowing what to say. "Who wins out of you two?" He proceeded to pull out a bent feather from his left wing. He had been meaning to give them a trim in a while, but with helping Harry in his quest to save the world from Voldemort it had completely slipped his mind. Now here before him was a girl with perfect pink wings. He couldn't help but feel shabby.

She smiled.

"That's the problem with original sin. Although the evil counterpart exists from birth, it is not the host choosing and therefore they are weaker. Plus she is a Tonks' conscience and not a Black. If she was a Black, she would be a lost cause."

"Harry admires her strength against her family. I guess that comes from you?" What was the harm in a little flirtation?

Lots. If she realises it is flirtation.

"Evan, I'm really sorry, but Tonks is a teacher here and Harry is a student. We can't have any sort of relationship. What we feel affects our host!"

"And my host is truly, madly, deeply in love with yours-" Evan argued, he'd gone from hating her to loving her in a matter of minutes. Now Theodora was knocking him back!

She was livid!

"You should not have told me that!" Theodora began pacing. "She'll know now, the moment I get back she'll know. She'll act differently around Harry. This is wrong, all wrong" Theodora felt someone grab her by the wings.

"Assuming you ever get back!" Evan pointed her in the direction of the empty space beside the eating Harry. "Tonks is walking round with two evil consciences. I don't know about you, but it takes a hell of a lot to restrain Jim. He'll have a field day."


	4. When She's Bad, She's Good

**Lead Us Not Into Flirtation**

_By Philosopher, Seraphina Pyra and CaptainCrash_

**A note from Seraphina Pyra:** This chapter is brought to you by the amusing and talented _Philosopher._

Chapter 4: When She's Bad, She's Good 

Jezebel was kicking back and chewing gum on Tonks' shoulder. She had a pretty nice set up going. There was a small TV set that was turned on but muted, which she was currently using as a foot stool to rock her chair back on its hind legs. A tiny barbeque pit was grilling up some hot dogs while a little boom box was blasting an old rock song from the 80's. Jezebel took another swig from her Dr. Pepper and noticed she hadn't had to ignore any self- righteous nagging in a while. She leaned forward, spied around Tonks' neck and realized the absence of a certain high and mighty do-gooder.

"Ah-hal-right." She mumbled nodding her head. "Free at last." This was too good to be true. She looked around for her counter part and spotted the pure and virtuous angel talking to a hottie on Harry's shoulder. "Way to go, Teddie." She said with a bit of astonishment. "Didn't think you had it in ya." Jezebel raised her bottle as if to toast the new found boldness of her enemy. Then an evil grin spread across her face and her eyebrows jumped up and down.

She didn't know where Harry's devil had gone to. She wouldn't be at all surprised to discover he didn't even have one. But there was that nice young lad smiling up at her without a single devilish thought and double the innocence shining through. She laughed. "Teddie you just stay right where you are. It would be rude to part company with your new little friend so soon."

A friendly hand dropped on Harry's shoulder. "Wotcher, Harry!" Tonks had just come over to say hello. She'd had a brief encounter with Snape on the way that put her a little out of sorts. Maybe it would put the spring back in her step to be around her younger friends.

"Hello, Tonks." He smiled brightly. It was a cute smile. She'd always thought so but today it was a '_cute'_ smile. She rolled her shoulders a little and slouched to the left.

_"Hum."_ Tonks thought. _"That was an odd feeling."_

"Mind if I sit?" She asked.

"No. Not at all." He answered while standing up and pulling out a hanky to wipe the seat for her. "Please do." He would have pulled out her as well chair but it was a bench. _"Hum."_ He thought after he rolled his shoulders and tried not to slouch to the right. _"That's an odd feeling."_

She allowed her elbows to drop roughly onto the table and held up her chin in the palm of one hand. "God this place is so stuffy and boring." She grumbled and stole a strawberry from the pancake platter of a distracted student.

"Um... It's alright. Hogwarts is a fine school for higher learning and I'd rather be here than distracted by some useless occupation." Tonks shot him a queer look.

"Useless occupation?" She questioned his odd behaviour.

"You know like stuffing my face with chocolate frogs or playing Quidditch."

Her head shot up. "Au contraire, mon ami. Right now, that sounds _a lot_ more appealing than being cooped up here!"

"Well Hogwarts provides us with far more, well balanced nourishment than chocolate but..." He crinkled his brow in thought. "I suppose Quidditch isn't really useless. It's good exercise for one's physical well being."

"It's done wonders for yours." She waggled her eyebrows at the boy... make that the _'young man'_-who-lived.

"Er...hem...well...Thank you." There was an awkward silence. "H-how did you sleep?"

"Wouldn't _you_ like to know?"

"Oh, dear." Theodora covered her head with her hands as though she had been suddenly struck in that spot. "Oh dear. Oh my, oh dear! Ooooh St. Peter is going to _kill_ me!"

"No he won't." Evan was trying to put his hands on her shoulders to calm her down but she was pacing too fast.

"No of course he won't. He can't _kill_ me." She spun on her heal and flailed her arms out, smacking Evan in the process, though she hardly noticed. "He'll just banish me from Heaven then." She froze at the very thought of it. "My Paradise! Lost!"

"I'm sure he'll understand." Evan was clutching his nose with one hand and still trying to pat her shoulder with the other. "Please calm down."

"Calm down?! Calm down?! How am I supposed to calm down, when my little lamb is out there with not one, but two wolves?!" Theodora held up two fingers a few inches from Evan's face.

"Yes well..." His eyes searched from side to side for an answer. "On the bright side...!" He looked at her again. "Harry has the both of us! Between the two of us I know we can get Jim back."

"Evan!" She smacked him again. This time it was the shoulder and this time it was deliberate. "You know we're not allowed to possess them. We can't very well _make_ Harry's arm contact hers again. Even if we could, how would we ever get that... that-that... that very BAD person off her shoulder?"

"Trust me. I know Jim. He wouldn't leave me with Harry for very long, let alone _two_ angels." A slight frown marred his normally cheerful face. "He's afraid I'd turn him into a puddle of mush or something. And then he'd be in big trouble with the man downstairs."

"I just want him off of my Tonks NOW! Before his influence begins having any lasting effect." She stomped and turned her back on the younger angel. "Oooh..." She stopped fuming and started wringing her hands. "My poor lamb. She must be so frightened without me."

"There. There." Evan finally managed to land his hands on her shoulders from behind. "We can trick him into coming over before anything happens."

"How."

"By doing what we do best." Theodora turned around, her interest peaked. "Convincing Harry to be unbearably nice. Jim won't be able to restrain himself from bolting over here before they get Tonks to do _anything_."

"Fine. Whatever." She was pouting. Her bottom lip began to quiver.

_"Wow."_ Evan thought as he became momentarily fixated on that lip. _"I get it now. Boy do I **ever** get it now."_ He had to shake his head to get back to reality.

"But we'll have to play our best game." He said. "150 percent. No holds barred. Understand me? He'll want you to get off Harry's shoulder first so he'll try to influence Tonks in the hopes that you will lose control and fly over."

"I see. It's a test of wills then." Theodora rolled up the sleeves of her lily white robes. "Right. Good thing I paid attention in auror training." She rolled her eyes and added. "Jezebel just kept trying to fake the flu."

Evan chose not to tell her the rest. That Jezebel would not be trying too hard. She would want Theodora to stay put, not rush over. For that matter he had mixed feelings of his own. Did he really want Theodora to leave so soon? Sure he missed Jim already but this job would be a lot easier if...

Jezebel heard grunting approaching from over the edge of Tonks' shoulder. Someone's hand had flung over the top and was struggling to find a grip. She watched with not more than a sliver of interest. A small version of Harry emerged and hauled himself over the edge. He had tied the red cape around his waste and was wearing a tight black muscle shirt.

Jim heard a cat whistle. "Nice horns." He heard a voice say. "I'm impressed. Must take a lot of stamina to scale that drop."

"Alright wise..." He got his legs over and was about to ream out whatever pissy know it all had said that when he caught sight of the pissy know it all. She was wearing a black muscle shirt similar to his only with spatters of pink paint whipped randomly across it.

"Hey there, young stuff." She looked him over and made no attempt to hide the fact that she was checking out his tail. "Nice of you to finally come around." Jezebel rose a little from her chair to pull out a soda from the ice chest and a stick of gum from her breast pocket. She offered them both to the mysterious rebel with the cocky smile. "What's your name?"

"Jim, darlin'." He took the gum and opened the bottle. "But you can call me anything you want."

"Well, 'Anything-You-Want', my name's Jezebel. Take a load off." She flopped back down in her chair and resumed her laid back pose. Another chair appeared behind Jim and he accepted.

"So..." He began, looking her over much the same way she had. He liked the spiked bracelet but the baggy camouflage cargo pants had to go. They didn't show off enough.

"So." Jezebel jabbed the hot dogs with her mini pitch fork.

"I hate this place." He looked around the hall with a sneer.

"Hasn't changed much since we've been here." Jezebel was of course referring to the glory days when she Theodora and Tonks ruled the school... Well mostly she and Tonks ruled while Theodora babbled on about peer pressure. The teen years always have and always will be the pride of every sinister agent. Jezebel came out of her reverie to notice that Jim was now regarding her with a look of curiosity.

"What was she like back then?" He asked

"Who Tonks?"

"No. McGonagall, you idiot. Of course, Tonks!"

Jezebel scowled. She didn't like letting this young upstart get the upper hand. But after a moment of keeping him on the line, she just tilted her head casually. "Why do you ask?"

"I don't know. Just curious I guess." Even Jim knew that sounded lame.

She inspected her fingernails and appeared disinterested, "Tell you what," Then gave him a sly sideways look. "You tell me all o' _your_ secrets..." Now she went for the kill. Careful keep the rest of her body out of his personal space, Jezebel leaned over until her lips were right by his ear. This gave him a certain... _view_. "...and I'll tell you aaaaaall of ours."

His blood rushed and he struggled to keep himself from gulping hard. "Deal." His voice sounded like a set of screeching tires. Jim quickly cleared his throat. "Deal." He repeated in a more manly tone and tried to regain that cocky smile.

"Deal." Jezebel put a hand out. He fell for it and tried to shake hands before she pulled hers back. Then she leaned back again with a smile that would be the envy of the Cheshire Cat himself. "But first..." She looked around.

"But first..." He answered knowingly. Each devil surveyed the hall as though it were a peaceful little village ready to be pillaged. "Ready?" Jim asked.

Jezebel drained her drink and slammed it down. "Ready." Her eyes were wild.

"Then let's saddle up and ride!"

A blast of music came from out of nowhere:

_Cause__ I saddle up my horse  
and I ride into the city_!_  
Everybody says  
SAVE A HORSE, RIDE A COWBOY!!!_

To be continued.....


	5. The Devil in Disguise

**Lead Us Not Into Flirtation**

_By Philosopher, Seraphina Pyra and CaptainCrash_

**A note from Seraphina Pyra:** This chapter is my next contribution. Sorry it's been so long since I last updated, but RL intruded and disks were lost and I'm going to stop making excuses. :smiles:

**Chapter 5: The Devil in Disguise**

Harry watched as Tonks walked away slowly. Just as he was about to focus on his breakfast his gaze was captured by Tonk's changing image. Her hair grew longer, the bright pink draining out to leave behind bouncy golden curls. As she moved gracefully back towards the teacher's table, Harry became mesmerised by her every move.

But then something from within himself made him drag his gaze away from her and he proceeded to eat his food.

"Ok, this is highly suspicious" Theodora proclaimed from her position standing tall on Harry's shoulder. She looked down at her fellow angel waiting for him to reply.

But Evan was comfortably sitting at her feet, staring out at the great hall in deep thought. Finally he came to a conclusion.

He looked up at his radiant female companion and said "I think something suspicious is occurring."

Theodora smiled slightly and fought the mild impulse to roll her eyes "really, Evan? why do you say that?"

Evan saw this as the perfect opportunity to impress Theodora. "Well look at Tonks now. She's acting odd."

"Odd?"

"She looks positively angelic; I just saw her politely help Severus Snape with some books he was carrying!"

Theodora smiled, pleased that her little lamb was behaving in such a well behaved manner. But then she remembered that she too thought this was suspicious. After all…

"why would Tonks be acting like that with two, not one… but two devils influencing her!" Theodora started slightly as Evan spoke aloud the words she had just been about to think.

Realising she hadn't replied yet Theodora spoke quickly and casually "well the devil is an angel too"

As Evan contemplated this Theodora allowed herself to study the tiny spirit before her.

He was younger, yes, and his efforts to tame his unruly black hair were clearly not entirely successful. Beautiful emerald green eyes gazed out at the world with wonderful innocence. He was less experienced than her, from what she had heard of some of young Harry's recent behaviour he wasn't always very adept at keeping Jim in line. And yet… he was a fellow guardian of all that is good, his thoughts strayed surprisingly close to her own. Perhaps…

No. Theodora shook her head pushing the tempting thoughts to one side. She had a job to do and a reputation to uphold.

Thankfully a distraction was immediately found. "It would seem your mate Jim has made the first move"

Evan glanced at her questioningly and Theodora wordlessly gestured towards a small fire that had erupted on Snape's hair. It looked like a grease fire. Tonks was no longer beside the professor's table, but there was no doubt that she was responsible. Both Evan and Theodora had caught the brief smirk that had graced her falsely angelic lips.

"How do you know it was Jim?" Evan asked, slightly defensive on behalf of his other half.

Theodora raised an eyebrow "Setting a fire is too unsophisticated for Jezebel. I mean, are we…"

"… supposed to be impressed?" Jezebel questioned as she stared at Jim.

"What do you mean?" Jim asked in annoyance. He had been rather pleased with his effort, especially after the priceless look that had appeared on Snape's face.

"Hmpf, I could do much better" Jezebel muttered.

Jim leant closer to her and smiled an evil smile "care to prove that?"

With that challenge hanging in the air Tonks could be seen walking quickly out of the great hall towards her office.

"Harry!"

The newly saintly Harry turned at the sound of his friend's voice.

"Hey, Hermione"

"Harry, what have you done to your hair?"

"I'm not sure what you mean"

"It's turning pink!"

Tonks knelt down before her trunk and proceeded to ruffle through it. When she finally found what she was looking for she laughed in anticipation.

Turning a small package around in her hands she squinted at the tiny text scribbled across it. She began muttering to herself as she tried to read the words. But she felt like her eyes were watering and she couldn't quite make out what it said.

She flipped the package over and there in bright large lettering were the words DUNG BOMBS. She could see them perfectly. Frowning slightly she again looked at the instructions on the back.

"well, looks like Tonks needs glasses. Has your charge always had such bad vision?"

"I've no idea what you're talking about. Tonks has perfect vision, look at my eyes - fine, even my girl Teddie has good eyesight. We don't need any stupid glasses!"

Jim's face lost it's teasing light and he pointedly pushed his own black rimmed glasses up onto his nose with one finger "nothing wrong with needing glasses y'know"

Jezebel nodded her head slightly. Apologising wasn't in the repertoire of a devil.

Then she smiled and the body they comfortably sat on threw the dungbombs up in the air. "Who needs the instructions? Used 'em enough before"

"Harry's hair is turning pink."

Evan looked over at the beautiful Theodora "Yup, I noticed"

"Harry's hair is turning pink!" Theodora's voice had become strained. Her eyes were focused at thin air and despite his best efforts Evan couldn't get her to face him.

"omg, Omg, Oh my God!"

"This probably isn't the time to mention you shouldn't be taking His name in vain, huh?"

Theodora ignored Evan as she began to hyperventilate. Between strenuous gasps for breath Theodora worked herself into a frenzy "I thought… omg… we would have more time…"

Evan was frozen in place, he was uncertain as to whether he should be trying to calm her down or backing away quickly.

"…this can NOT be happening…" Theodora was beginning to go an odd shade of red as she struggled to stay calm.

Evan finally made a decision. He reached out with his hands and grabbed hold of Theodora's shoulders before she paced herself right off Harry.

"Theodora!"

The female angel's eyes which had been blinking so fast moments before now slowed and looked at Evan.

"Tell me what's wrong." he said with an authorative tone.

Theodora paled and then whispered as though it were a most horrible thing "…cross-contamination!"

"You look like an angel" Jim's voice rang out loudly, only just in tune.

Not looking up from a detailed map of Hogwarts Jezebel spoke slowly "Don't be insulting, Jim"

Jim carried on singing with glee "Walk like an angel, Talk like an angel"

"That's it, I'm changing Tonk's new look right now" Jezebel muttered to herself.

Jim paused in his song momentarily. He brushed a piece of dirt of his new sparkly white jumpsuit and turned to his fellow devil. "C'mon Jez, it's just a song."

"Don't call me Jez" she replied firmly "My name is Jezebel"

Jim just used his hand to adjust his hair " yup, and my name is 'The King'"

With that he burst right back into his song with a new enthusiasm "But I got wi-i-i-i-s-e-e-e! You're the devil in disguise."

"Shut up , Jim"

"Oh yes you are!"

"Shut up, Jim. You are so not Elvis Presley"

"Yeah! The devil in disgui-i-i-i-s-eeeeee!"


End file.
